Extinction of Race Human

Extinction of Race Human

This is a chat between Robot Senior and Robot Junior Tann, they are on planet earth its there home now. The topic of there discussion is on primitives (human).

Robot Junior- Pops ,how come the mighty human race, who created us is now extinct?

Dhapp Robot- So you want to know that how so called mighty human race came to an end. If you ask me, they were doomed to perish in the very fire they lit. Human race initiated life on planet earth in accordance with mother nature but somewhere with time they got distracted. Son, the reasons have been many but the most prominent were exploitation & exhaustion of earth resources and poor lifestyle choices.

Tann junior- How the poor lifestyle choices ruined there chances to survive.

Dhapp senior- Food was a source of energy to them but they mistook it as source of pleasure and end up filling there body with toxic. Human race need to be active and fit for which they needed space but instead they exploit that space to replace trees with concrete jungles. Walking was one of the natural thing for them but at every given opportunity they used transport resulting in increased emission of toxic gases and thus exposing themselves to an environment there body were not made for.

They kept marveling on there power of science and when there was time to pause and think they were busy in improving there technology. They were making machines, robots like us for comfort, and completely forgot about the basic machinery of there bodies.

Tann do you realize we are sitting on there graves.

 

Hoping against hope that this discussion never takes place.

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Be thoughtful Than Beautiful

heart-vanderbush

Again she is at my doorstep. “From where does she learn all this.” Our elderly neighbor was  questioning me, she was referring to my  3 year old daughter. I replied sheepishly “No idea”.

Again I was being judged for the way I am bringing her up. The matter is that when my daughter went to my neighbors place to play with her grand-daughter she did the unspeakable. Mahika my elder daughter was playing with her friend. When my neighbor who is 80 yr-old lady entered the room they were playing and my daughter blurted “Look the old lady is here.”. This is the statement that brought her here at my doorstep.

After she left I confronted my daughter in the confused state. Confused because I don’t know how to ask my daughter to not call an old lady, old as it sounds rude because I anticipated to be then bombard with series of question, answering which, with my level of intellect will be certainly difficult.

Now just take the other day me and my daughter were walking beside a man with lot of fat all around his body, and watching him my daughter exclaimed “Ma, look so fat uncle.”.  Embarrassed, I slowed down my pace and signaled her to keep mum.

In both the instances I found it difficult to explain her “why?” not to say such things. Why not to call a spade a spade.

There was a phase in my life when I was not happy with my body. People have teased me saying mean things regarding my thin body. Being subjected to such trauma has made me realized that even seemingly harmless comment on someones body, part, color or age can be so shattering for a person.

“But why?”. Why are these comments so hurting. This make me wonder that, why calling a black, black or a fat person, fat sounds so insulting and downright rude. Could our so called beauty criteria s can be behind all these. Yes it is.

Why do a women needs to shave her body hair? Why do we need gym, beauty parlors and products to make us feel young and beautiful. Why we need to color our hair, treat them with chemical’s, just to feel better (Personally I am in no way giving up coloring my hairs.) and why do men have to grow there beard just to look trendy and then invest in expensive products to make it more manageable and more shinier( No, it certainly does not mean that I hate looking at male’s with beautiful beard on.)

I just feel that so much of beautification is hurting us deep somewhere( apart from digging deep into our pocket’s, I mean).

For now I have just told my daughter that fat look’s good  as it makes you glow. Aging is good as it tends to make you more chilled and relaxed. Being thin makes you look much younger and spots on face give  uniqueness. Black color is sexy and white colored can carry any color. We have also told her that there is something more attractive and appealing then appearance and that is the ability to be thought-full.

Better to be thought-full rather than being beautiful.

A Mother

A Mother

Once I was chatting with my best friend, the topic of the discussion was my life woe’s. I was busy telling her all that is not right or not according to my expectation of life. All that I could think of at that time was the injustice life has done to me. Now when I think of that conversation I really appreciate the way she handled the situation, as I was convinced about the fact that my life is a sob story, not ready to let her reason or question my perspective. I was mumbling and sobbing ignoring all that she was saying.

How could I listen, when at that point of time I was convinced with all that my  gloomy lens  was showing me and here she was instead of offering her shoulder to cry was counting all the good things happened to my life, anyways all that fell to the deaf ear.

This article is definitely not about her ability to be so rationale or about my ability to be a cry baby, but it’s about a truth in most of ladies life.

Some where in between the conversation she asked ” define yourself in a word. ” . I thought how come when I am even unable to talk or think properly, you want one word  encompassing all that make’s me “Me”. Then suddenly out of nowhere I said “I am a mother.”. As soon as I blurted out this, I thought to myself that how very true that statement is.

My friend said “This is the issue with you dear.” for me that was like saying  “Oh this is the disease you are suffering from.”. What reply I expected was that of approval or appreciation as it shows I am giving this role, everything I am capable of, but what I got was this, she said ” Yes you are a mother but you are not only a mother.”. Pause and think. Are you someone who has restricted yourself to a particular role in life rather then seeing it as a role out of various role we play.

I know there are many like me.

Today when I think of that incidence….Oh wait it’s not like that I have won a gold medal or am a billionaire now, but I am happy. Which was definitely not a case earlier, as I was so absorbed with the concept of being a good mother, that I turned up doing more bad than good. It was overcoming me in such a way that I was being over analytical about everything which gave way to the feeling of disappointment.

To everyone suffering from the same disease like me,”It’s not that if you are not good mother in your or other’s eye, than you automatically become a bad mother, but try just to be a mother with  humanly expectation from yourself.”.

Allow yourself to breath, you deserve it.

 

 

Let’s Start Afresh

Let’s Start Afresh

My life has taken the turn, the tag of a homemaker is no longer with me . Now I wake up at the morning pack lunches, do some necessary preparation’s,make some basic breakfast, wake my kids, take them to bath, dress them up, drop them and leave for the day. This is where my second day start’s, one inside the other. where I juggle with my heavy bag, frequent change of public transport and then reach my arena of work. Then I return late in the evening, fetch my kid’s, enjoy each other’s company, get done with some of the work, make them have some food, prepare them to take a good night sleep and drop dead beside them. How it sounds to you, are you the one saying “I do the same.” or “what’s new most of us do that.” or the one ” poor kid’s.”or “On the face feminism.”. Who ever you are, I want to tell you “Hey I am Happy.and this is all that matters.”.

I am where I was craving to be, now one month after the change I am here to do what I love the most, “write” or to me it is more like telling my story. I have not changed, I am the same.I have lot to share with you so for all those who are still with me, Hi! let’s start afresh because in life what matter’s is “The beginnings with an end.”. So let’s start all over again.

 

 

 

CRYING BABY ON JUPITER

CRYING BABY ON JUPITER

Hello everyone. When I was with my new born, still in the hospital, all the crying used to make me so nervous. I used to feel like a total failure. As a result, my decision making power diminished. I didn’t realize (My baby crying makes me go soft in the head and it still does) at that time that how powerful is crying. This is for all the mothers who are just few hours’ old, don’t panic on listening to your newborn cry. Crying shows that your baby is resilient enough. All is well if baby is pooing, peeing and crying. Crying baby can survive all odds just as it did today at Jupiter.

DHAPP ROBOT- Look here is the strange little creature from earth.

TANN ROBOT- Oooow what on Jupiter this frail tiny thing is.

DHAPP ROBOT- Oh this is the offspring of the self-acclaimed mighty human being.

TANN ROBOT- Yes mighty they are! look (Pointing toward the baby).

Both started laughing. How? the panel on their chest displayed ‘laughing’.

TANN ROBOT – So what on Jupiter (remember they are Jupiter inmates), is it doing curl on like this.

DHAPP ROBOT – Humans call it sleeping, something like when your battery is drained and you are getting charged and not working. It is just few weeks old, do this sleeping thing for more than 15 hours per day. We have been assigned to take its care and record all the activities for our new assignment “Primitive”.

TANN ROBOT – Sounds fun. It seems like an easy-breezy project. 15 hours of rest is like a day off. (Robot need 2 hours for getting charged, part repair, removal and new part installed in a day, for which they need to just lie flat on the surface and switch off themselves the rest is taken care by the control room which after doing the needful switch it on.)

(Both got busy with their work, when suddenly they were jolted by a squeal.)

TANN – OH my…What is that sound. (Pointing towards the baby)look its making the sound and changing its color (fear in his voice).

DHAPP – Please stop that sound. Why Don’t you pick it up?

TANN – Why me, you pick it up.

(Dhapp picks it up clumsily and start’s rocking. The baby calmed down a bit.)

TANN – Yo again charging his batteries I suppose. Is this what they call crying? It sounds horrible to my auditory fit(ears). Oh no, look its moving again.

DHAPP – Idiot you woke him up. Just go bring its bottle. (Dhapp with a bit difficulty figures out on how to feed the baby, the baby again drifts off to sleep)

(Tann messages Dhapp through his panel. Not wanting to disturb the baby again. Message displayed on the panel “Back to charging its battery. I took notes. Next time I will feed it.”)

(After laying the baby to sleep, Dhapp explains Tann about few more things like changing the nappy and excuses itself for the day. It’s when the nightmare for the robot Tann start’s.)

 

9am Baby wakes up, Tann picks him up and feed’s him but the baby keeps crying. Tann tries to rock him to sleep, but the baby refuses to sleep and continues whining. He checks with the control room and ask for a suggestion.

10am Realizes that baby needs to burp. After few attempts Tann successfully burps him, baby falls asleep. Tann loves the expression on baby’s face, and let him sleep still holding him. Loves the warmth the softness, halfheartedly puts it to sleep in the crib.

10:30 Baby is crying. Tann checks the diaper and clumsily puts on the fresh ones. Baby is still cross. Tann tries rocking, feeding, burping but to no avail. Tann checks the diaper and found a sticky black thing on it, tries cleaning. Baby more annoyed by the cleaning, start’s crying louder. The more it cries the more it makes the robot jittery. Tann calls control room for help, where it is asked to switch itself off as the acoustic abilities are not well developed to handle sound of baby crying.

Tann lying on the floor switched off. The repairoctors (robot doctors) checks the baby’s crying on a sound meter and found it too loud for robot’s auditory fit (Robot’s ear). They looked at the baby who is still crying. Repairoctor (the doctor) on the floor switched off (Couldn’t bear the sound).

Baby’s is sent back on earth just after three hours of arrival. Right to the place he belongs, at her mother side. Jupiter defeated.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TODAY WE WOKE UP TO WET BED

TODAY WE WOKE UP TO WET BED

We woke up to a wet bed today. My fully potty trained daughter peed on her bed for consecutively two nights. Knowing it’s not nocturnal enuresis (Bed wetting) we have to worry about was a relief but whatever is causing this can lead to secondary nocturnal enuresis later, was a warning to us.

My elder daughter is three-year-old. I am watching her grow at amazingly very fast pace yet there are things that she just refuses to grow out of. The growing years are crucial period of an individual life, and sometime they can be tough on our kids. The nature of life is to change and more than ever It’s the time between age 30- 40 when we the parents have to deal with lots of shuffling in our family life, kids and career, which change something in us and we start reacting before realizing, simply because now we don’t have the time and energy to think. We are needed to run and we do just that, run. In this chase somewhere we forget that a kid is a kid after all.

 

It’s strange that we don’t feel your loss,

It’s strange that we don’t let you lament.

The half piece you get now, was once your cake,

You sulk and scream, trying to get the other half

You watch your place taken by the alien, in horror

You watch it sleep beside your mother, Facing her.

You are afraid you won’t be the one she will hold now.

You are afraid she will not look at you first thing in the morning.

Everything yours is now in pieces, alien gets one and you get the other.

You are afraid of change in schedule.

You don’t like the new school, house, teacher or help.

You don’t like that mother is more behind the laptop then in front.

You are afraid to tell her that you need to pee in the middle of the night.

It’s strange that how we don’t feel your loss.

It’s strange that how we don’t let you lament.

 

Today again she cried, threw tantrum and had grumpy moments but now I know how to deal effectively. I empathise a lot with my elder daughter because no matter how hard we try to make the transition easy for her, still it’s hard for a baby to adjust to the paradigm shift in her/his world. The change of house, school, having a sibling, working parents and much more.

The world I am talking about is of a kid who has lost her/his parents attention. The difference is huge and for a heart and mind just few years old. If we just compare a day, before and after a younger sibling, we will find that the attention time and span the poor soul got now is just the fraction of what it got earlier. With it she has lost many moments of love, cuddling, laughter, understanding and patience directed toward her/him only.

When now she throws the tantrum, we tell her ‘we love you dear and always will, no matter what’. Tell her what is so good about her, and narrate her all the qualities she has. Always ask her “What” triggered the tantrum, scream, fear, anxiety in her. It’s not that she comes up with an appropriate reason every time, but whatever she says, gives us a goal to work on.

The replies we got on asking ‘What’

  • “You don’t love me anymore”
  • “I am upset”
  • “No one is my friend”
  • “You are a bad mama”
  • “You didn’t give me the chocolate”

All the replies show that she needs more of all that is being already given to her. More love, kisses, cuddles, affection and attention. Obviously the last one means she wants a chocolate and she will have one after finishing the meal all by herself. Nothing comes easy except obviously our love for you baby.

 

I DON’T KNOW HOW TO SAY ‘I AM OK’ WHEN I AM NOT

I DON’T KNOW HOW TO SAY ‘I AM OK’ WHEN I AM NOT

Everyone have disappointment’s. These could be from ourselves, others, relationships or circumstances.We always blame something or other for our woe’s.  In my case I mostly find someone to blame (note It’s never myself I put the blame on), and for me it works as putting the blame on others, thus making yourself look clean is therapeutic. I love blaming my parents, friends, relatives, husband (My favorite) and now I have even started blaming my little ones(Oops). Yes, my little ones, my kids. I blame them for mess my house is, the mess I look and wear all day, the mess my career is in (obviously blaming in my mind only). Maybe few of you would agree with me (I am desperately praying for that) but mostly will not (show me your feat’s, I need to pinch you to bring you back to senses) and seriously If you are not doing that (playing the blame game) then please try it. It promotes healing.

All of us are trying to give our best in life, but we all know GOD has his\her own way of appreciating. Sometime our hard work, tears and sacrifices are simply wasted, and at times we are rewarded in spite of zero or mediocre efforts. The most taxing are the times when in spite of trying our best, things doesn’t work out. We feel depressed. Depression is something that each one of us has experienced at some point (rather many times) of life. Recently I was plagued by feeling of worthlessness. Years of child rearing did that to me. As parenting, is very lonely thing. It brings so many challenges, that it often makes one feel incompetent as a person. This brings depression, which needs to be vented in order to give our best to the most important duty God has bestowed on us, parenting. So please fight for yourself. You will do good only when you start doing good to yourself. Stop saying “I am OK” when you are not. Bring everything out. Even if you need to confront someone or raise controversial issues, do that. Try to put your point forward, even play the blame game if needed. Tell that you want, what you want. Don’t think you are being demanding as mostly what one needs is attention, appreciation and love.

In the end you might find how childish you were but this realization will only happen, once you take it out. If while taking out your frustration you have hurt someone then a sincere apology is needed

 

Here is a poem which I wrote recently

A poem from the darkest corner.

When I need you the most, you choose to make me a distraction.

When I need your support, you choose to give me an empty advice.

When I need to be heard, you choose to interrupt.

When I need you to love me, you choose to teach me the norms.

When I need to be understood, you choose to ridicule and bully.

When I need to be praised, you choose to show me my incompetence.

The doubt that you raised, bit me hard

Now I am not what I was.

Now you say that it was unintentional, that you didn’t meant it.

Now when you miss the love that you never did.

Now when you repulse what you invested.

Now when you know, how I felt.

Let’s talk, let’s heal, let’s love.

Together and Forever.

This is a poem which might not be good literally, but it goes well with the rhythm of my heart. I found it very saddening, that we often ignore the fact that the very same thing we want or need to remain human and sane, the love, respect and understanding we often crave for, is the same thing we are not giving even to our most important relationships.

Here is a short prayer which me as a parent love to repeat to myself again and again.

I pray to GOD every-day to give me the strength, to acknowledge the follies I make daily as a parent and the will (armed with the skill), to rectify it the next morning.

I wish to show my utmost respect to the little possibilities lying on bed with me, whom I proudly call my kids.

I wish to always remember that “My kid” is a lot more than that, SHE is the world to me but one day she will make a world of her own.

I wish to not tamper what God had already made her/him “An individual”.

I try hard not to infuse me in you.

I am like you, a mother who choose to be a better mother with each passing day.

AMEN